You Don’t Get 500 Million Friends, Apparently, Without Chewing a Lot of Scenery

Every once in a while over the last year and a half or so, I’ve thought to myself: “Oh, yeah. I remember hearing that some pirate army of douchebags is making a Facebook movie. Now THAT’s gonna be a train wreck.”

I need think such things no more. Some pirate army of douchebags HAS made a Facebook movie, and it IS a train wreck, at least judging from the godawful trailer online at which, incidentally, suggests that you recommend it on Facebook.

Apparently troubled by my not yet having ulcers, expresses its earnest wish “That this would give justice to the Facebook story,” a glurgy Hershey squirt of a line that makes me want to rip my eyeballs out just having read it, either to ensure I never read such a vapid sentiment again, or just to punish myself for living in a world where people worry about giving justice to the Facebook story.

But the FIRST rule of The Social Network is that you do not tell anyone about The Social Network; furthermore, you want The Social Network? You can’t handle The Social Network.



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