On a slow, brain-dead Monday morning, a visit to the website of manufacturer O.F. Mossberg & Sons nets me Monday Morning Shotgun Pr0n on an unprecedented level.
Take, for instance, the new Mossberg “Just In Case” series, in which your pistol-grip Mossberg 500 is packed into a waterproof “Survival Kit-in-a-Can,” enabling you to, you know, stuff it in the bilge of your 40-foot Catalina sailboat and then forget about it.
Until, that is, Chilean pirates jack your Cat off Tierra del Fuego during your long-dreamed-about post-retirement voyage around the world with Penelope Cruz and Jennifer Love Hewitt once you win the lottery. Then you’ll be set! Tell those pirates what’s what! Can you even imagine the affections Penny and Jenny will lavish on your septugenarian ass once you save them from pirates with this big-bore taste of God’s Vengeance, Bubbah?