Comment Spammers and The Devil

Baphomet

Okay, comment spammers. You’ve beaten me.

I hate the living holy hell out of Akismet, but it’s re-enabled. WTF was I thinking? It was naive of me to believe for one second that I could leave the comments open without an anti-spam solution, and somehow the whole trend toward 99% of the comments being spam would have, you know, like, “blown over.”

And that is how subhuman THINGS make the web no fun for anybody.

Comment spammers retain a very special place in my personal pantheon of evil. If I ever die and discover that I really was as big an asshole as some people say I am, and I go to Hell, and find myself face to face with The Devil, perhaps he will say:

“You have served me well, minion, what kind of super-being would you like to return as in order to better serve me?”

And I will say: “Spammer-torturer, my Liege. Let me track down spammers and cause them to suffer screaming in agony for many decades!”

And he’ll say, “No, no, no, I said I’m the DEVIL.”

JK, natch. Luv ya, Jesus, with the mercy and the forgiveness and all that. Love ya, srsly…great message, but then, they ddn’t have comment spammers in Biblical times, did they?

Then again, maybe they did. Maybe this explains Saint Paul…

Image: Baphomet, from Eliphas Levi’s “Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magie”, 1854.

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