Normally I try to keep the air here at Thomasroche.com kinda, you know, rarefied and shit. I mean, who’s to keep the intellectual traditions of Western culture alive if I descend into potty-mouthed slapstick? It’s like Frank always used to tell me back when I was fronting 2 Live Crew: “Kid, you don’t have to work blue.” He was wrong, but I do try to keep my Three Stooges interests to myself…most of the time. There’s no cashola in that shit, baby. The slapstick, she’s not a winning proposition for yours truly. On the other hand, if you want me blue, you gotta cough up the green. It’s that simple. Otherwise, I’ll lecture your ass on motherfucking Stalin, and put your hand in warm water once you goddamn fall asleep.
Unfortunately, this Buzzfeed article, “19 People Who Are Having a Worse Day than You,” has undone all my bourgeois pseudo-intellectual pretensions, so I’m just going to say fuck it. The article has been making its way around Facebook, and I’ve now seen it three times. It made me laugh so hard I peed myself. Do not watch it if you are a genuinely nice person. If you are mostly a nice person but still like to see people fall down and get hit in the face with hats…well, then it’s your call.
Nobody gets majorly hurt, mind you, but there are many wacky pratfalls. They’re all GIFs so you can just view them in a big strip and pee yourself, like I did.
I got it from Wayne Allen Sallee, but many others have been passing it around. Blame him. Blame them. Blame anyone but me, I don’t give a damn. Oh, man…that’s some crumpin’.