Gallery of Big Weird Fish-Stink


Mekong Giant Catfish

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Have I ever mentioned that I hate fish?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything personal against the scaly creatures, which is probably why I’m so endlessly fascinated by this National Geographic feature on the world’s largest “megafish,” which I take to mean “big fish.”

Just please don’t try to serve me steaks of any of them, or cook ‘em in my apartment. Tart recently decided we were not healthy enough and decided we should eat fish. Fish is good for you. Neither of us like to eat it. She bought several varieties, including some weird fucked up Lovecraftian thing that just should not fucking exist. There was also something white, another something the fish person claimed had a “nutty” flavor (?????), and boxed Mahi-Mahi patties that look enough like tofu burgers that after about six glasses of Scotch I might be willing to actually try nomming one with, like, two slices of American cheese provided I could punch the sofa really hard while I’m trying to choke it down.

So far we’ve eaten none of it. I’ve spent just long enough dreading the heinous fish-meal that I’m just barely sure, kind of, that I’m not going to have to eat it, but that’s small consolation, because the entire refrigerator now smells like fish. She had the best of intentions. But hopefully these terrifyingly mondo creatures will pursue her through vivid nightmares tonight, hopefully wearing top hats and carrying canes. And that’ll be the last of all this “healthy” talk.

Image Mekong Giant Catfish, from NaGeo.

1783: De Jouffrey’s Pyroscaphe


De Jouffrey’s Pyroscaphe

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Hard on the heels of Bastille day, there’s a great article in Wired’s Day in Tech about the demonstration of the first successful steamboat, the Pyroscaphe, in Lyon, France by deJouffroy, Marquis d’Abbans on July 15, 1783:

The waning years of the ancien régime were a time of considerable innovation in France. Brothers Joseph and Jacques Montgolfier had demonstrated the first hot-air balloon capable of carrying passengers just six weeks earlier, and thousands of people lined the banks of the Saône when de Jouffroy showed his pride and joy in Lyon.

The Pyroscaphe steamed upstream at 6 mph without a sail, and the crowds cheered this technological marvel. But after 15 minutes, the boat began to break up under the pounding of the engine. De Jouffroy quickly and cannily steered the boat ashore, and then bowed to the cheering multitudes.

The marquis continued experimenting on the Saône for 16 months. Still, the French Academy of Sciences refused to recognize his achievement, ostensibly because the demonstration was not done in Paris, but perhaps because of the jealousy of rival inventors.

The French Revolution soon ensued, and though the nobleman kept his head, he never got his patent: not from the republic, not from Napoleon (a “usurper” to whom the legitimist de Jouffroy would not even apply for a patent), not from the restored Bourbon monarchy and not from citizen-king Louis Philippe.

Read More.

Image from University of Houston.

Libertie, Egalitie, Fraternitie




Eiffel Tower, Bastille Day

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

O Hai, I missed Bastille Day. Actually, I didn’t so much miss it… I just found I didn’t have anything to say about it. Which, I’ll tell ya, is pretty strange considering Bastille Day reminds me of 1) human liberty, and 2) the Guillotine. It also reminds me of Paris, unquestionably one of the most beautiful cities on the planet and a place whose beauty leaves me dumbstruck any time I think of it. But even the physical beauty of Paris and its million sordid and sublime entertainments can’t stir me from my feeling that my own country’s in a sad decline and there’s no Bastille Day over the horizon; we may skip the Libertie part and just head straight to the random economic guillotinings.

Once upon a time, Dickens-like, I saw the French Revolution as an incident of mankind at its best and worst, standing up for independence, but then disintegrating into self-destruction. Today, any symbolism I might find therein feels eclipsed by current events. How many let them eat cakes have there been about the US economy over the last ten years? Even if Marie had said such a thing, I wouldn’t have blamed her quite so much as I blame my fellow Americans for credit-spending my country into oblivion while fighting a war too many continents away for reasons still ill-articulated.

Call me bitter, accuse me of clinging to my copy of the Constitution, folded up like a recipe for green bean casserole and stuffed into an old copy of How Paris Amuses Itself. I was bitter before it was fashionable, which it doesn’t seem to have yet become and maybe never will, since denial remains the order of the day.

So hope you had a happy Bastille Day, my sad, sad countrypeople. Libertie, egalitie, fraternitie — look it up. This way to the National Razor.

Image from Wikipedia.

Italian Prosecutor on Gay Mafiosi


Lavender Pistol

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

The Telegraph quotes Italian prosecutor Antonio Ingroia on the subject of gay Mafia bosses in Italy who, he says, are afraid to come out of the closet because they might get clipped. “Being gay is still a taboo for Italian society in general, let alone the Mafia, which is an archaic organisation. These bosses have to cover their homosexuality; they’re afraid because they risk being ridiculed and killed,” says the prosecutor.

It’s hard to tell if it’s the Telegraph or Ingroia contributing the positively Einsteinian insights here, but the publication further quotes Ingroia: “[The American Mafia has] a more broad-minded attitude towards gays and so gay bosses can come out.”

The Telegraph’s sole example is the 2003 case of Johnny Boy D’Amato, a Capo of the New Jersey DeCavalcante family (on which the Sopranos is loosely based). D’Amato was the acting boss of the DeCavalcantes, hand-picked by John Gotti; rumors were spread that he had relationships with men, and he was killed by his own family. The Telegraph uses this as proof that “times have changed,” but the “this is now” part of it seems to have eluded them. What’s the situation now for these illusionary “gay bosses?”

My guess it’s exactly where it was with D’Amato, as filtered through the general growing La Cosa Nostra disarray through the first decade of this century. When the talent pool shrinks, and personnel problems abound, as they have for the Mob as law enforcement and other gangs have closed in , management gets less picky. I’m sure a few guys have gotten made with what mobsters from previous eras would consider questionable experiences in their backgrounds. But a gay boss? I don’t think so.

D’Amato, as far as I can tell, wasn’t gay by a longshot; the story from his girlfriend, who also happened to be seeing another mobster as well, was that he was a into swinging and, maybe, bisexual. The girlfriend had just had a fight with him when she made the claim, incidentally. Furthermore, D’Amato was already suspect among the DeCavalcantes because it was suspected he’d been hand-picked by the Gambino family. In the Mob, murder by underlings is a common way to die, and if D’Amato swung both ways — which so far I’m not convinced he did — that would be, in the Mob hierarchy, considered a better excuse than most.

But “Times have changed?” Who in the Mob has been coming out since 2003? Are Brooklyn social clubs playing Cher and Madonna instead of Sinatra? Is the NYC Craigslist M4M overrun with ads stating “Capo di Tutti Capi seeks cut bear 4 mutual J/O”?

For The Telegraph to report this kind of non-story on non-comments by Ingroia claiming a difference between Italy and the States that quite simply does not exist — that’s at best ignorant, at worst offensive because it portrays a level of liberalism that does not exist in the American mob — it pretends that La Cosa Nostra is something it’s not. The story is news because gay mobsters are newsworthy, by virtue of being gay and therefore weird — even if, based on the information the Telegraph provides, they don’t exist. Until the Telegraph’s willing to out an American Capo at the very least, their story remains a vapid and damaging unstory.

Not Our Fashion Sense




Nancy Pelosi: Not Our Fashion Sense

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Kay Barnes, former Mayor of Kansas City and currently running as a Democrat for Congress in Missouri, is apparently pretty cozy with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. This has apparently provided ammunition to her opponent, incumbent Republican Sam Graves, a former volunteer fireman and Eagle Scout who opposes interracial trios drinking and dancing badly together, as showcased in this high-fucking-layrious campaign ad now available on YouTube.

In it, Graves’ campaign proclaims to Missourans that San Francisco Values are "Not Our Values," which, if these three fashion plates are any indication, I’m quite sure the Missourans will be relieved to hear. That this bootyshakin’ trio is equated with Abortion On Demand, Gay Marriage, Immigration Amnesty and clinking your glasses together like annoying yuppies should only confuse them, but hey, who cares? If I were a Missouran, I’d vote for anyone to keep my kids from wearing their hair like that girl on the right!

African Lion On the Loose In Colorado




African Lion

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

African Lion Spotted in Colorado! From ABC 7 News Denver:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — El Paso County deputies are looking for an African lion on the loose in the eastern part of the county.

Sheriff’s Lt. Lari Sevene said the first call came in of large cat chasing several dogs through a field off of Log Road. That call came in at 7:35 a.m. The resident told deputies the cat had a red mane and a big tail. Officers obtained a photo of the big cat.

A second sighting was reported after the first and a second resident also took a picture of the lion.

A reverse-911 alert went out to residents in the Falcon Highway and Log Road area to let them know about the animal. A second call will go out when the coast is clear.

State wildlife officers found tracks of the lion, according to the Colorado Springs Gazette.

Michael Seraphin, of the Colorado Division of Wildlife, told the Gazette that the two photos taken by residents and tracks found by DOW officers confirm the animal is an African lion and not a mountain lion.

Image from Wikipedia.

Drug Gangs on Catalina Island




Catalina, by Frank Horst

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

There’s an article on CNN about drug gangs on the island “paradise” of Catalina:

Deputies on the isle say a fledgling gang called the Brown Pride Locos has gotten a foothold among the beaches, coves and tourist shops.

A stabbing, burglaries and graffiti are being blamed on the gang, and deputies last month surprised teenagers practicing moves with knives on a dark bluff above Avalon’s crescent-shaped bay.

A swift crackdown has netted at least six arrests and led to a pair of police raids — but it has also caused an uproar in the tiny community, where residents leave their doors unlocked and putt around in golf carts.

Locals insist that LA’s corrupting influences could never penetrate their paradise, where the stars of Hollywood’s golden age frolicked and where dozens of classics, such as “Mutiny on the Bounty” and parts of “Jaws,” were filmed.

Deputy David Mertens, a six-year gang enforcement veteran from Los Angeles, is trying to gain the upper hand before the violence escalates.

“Before I transferred here, I came to do my interview and I was shocked,” said Mertens, who was brought in with a new commander late last year. “I could not believe all these gangsters walking around and all these drug deals going on right in the open.”

Read More Here.

Image from Wikipedia.

Happy Birthday Chiwetel Ejiofor

Hey, I missed his birthday. Happy 34th a bit late to British actor Chiwetel Ejiofor, who was absolute fucking brilliance personified in two roles I loved: as the Operative in Serenity and as the scary revolutionary dude in the absolutely devastating Children of Men.

I’m given to understand he’s considered hot, also.

IMDB informs me his name is pronounced “chew-it-tell edge-oh-for.” Ejiofor joins Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje on the very short list of Londoners of Nigerian parentage who are absolutely fucking brilliant actors and have names I cannot properly pronounce on the first try.

Image from Wikipedia.

‘The Sopranos’ is Dead, Long Live ‘The Sopranos’

According to IMDB.com, Peter Bogdanovich says David Chase says there won’t be a ‘Sopranos’ movie. ‘I spoke to David Chase about it a month ago, and he said no. He said he thought about it, and he can’t figure a way to do it. So I don’t think it will ever happen. I don’t think you can ever say never, but my hunch is it won’t happen.’

I made known my feelings about the last season of ‘The Sopranos’ in no uncertain terms in this essay about Merv Griffin, but let me summarize. The first three, possibly four, seasons of ‘The Sopranos’ are way better than ‘the best works of American culture,’ as they’ve been called. They’re the greatest thing ever, in a twelve-way tie with flowers, kittens, puppies, rainbows, unicorns, coffee, bourbon, hamburgers, sex, coroner’s reports and Chicago blues. The fifth and sixth seasons of ‘The Sopranos’ are… weird. And bad. And it is one of the great daily agonies of my life that nobody, but nobody, hates them as much as I do. In fact, some people like them.

Which is not Chase’s problem — he should know better, and in my opinion should be ashamed of himself for running out of steam and being too greedy or in love with himself to pull the plug when he still had something to say. As a creative professional it’s always hard to figure out what to do with yourself once your ideas evaporate. Most people just keep pumping out sewage and accept widespread critical and public acclaim, which seemed to be Chase’s strategy. That people are even talking about a ‘Sopranos’ movie is disturbing — it reminds me that people actually thought Season 6-6.1 was good. Some viewers even thought it was…I can’t even say it. Great. There, I said it.

When I consider it, I shudder for the fate of the human race.

Chase all but invented the Mob primetime soap opera TV show, so… piss all over it if you want, I guess. But the Mob movie is a great tradition. To even mention the possibility of creating such a travesty is a crime, and not a very organized one. It’s almost as if Francis Ford Coppola wanted to make a third Godfather movie with Andy Garcia and George Hamilton, in which Michael Corleone got mixed up in Papal politics.

Or something.

Image from Wikipedia.

Journey to the Center of the Earth

I’ve been anticipating and/or dreading this movie ever since I first saw preview some months ago. I had sort of resolved not to see it — as it was pretty obviously going to be wretched — but I stumbled into the film nonetheless, and boy howdy! Was it ever.

Journey, originally called A Journey to the Interior of the Earth, is my favorite Jules Verne book and one of my favorite science fiction novels ever. It was also made into a truly kickass 1959 movie in which you get to see Pat Boone naked. What, then, was I expecting when I discovered it was going to be remade as a goofy amusement park thrillride 3D kids’ movie? I have no effin’ idea, citizen.

The first half of the flick is glurgy and stupid. But it has a goofy, appealing credulousness to it; I always love Fraser, Josh Hutcherson is neither good nor bad as his young nephew, and Icelandic actress Anita Briem — of “The Tudors” – is fine in every sense of the world as the hot Icelandic tour guide. Fraser is Trevor Anderson, a scientist whose conveniently-also-a-scientist brother, Max, disappeared ten years before. Max’s son Sean comes to visit Trevor right about the time Trevor realizes Max has made a bunch of notes in an old copy of Verne’s book. Turns out Max was a “Verneian,” a member of a secret society that believes Verne’s books were fact. They decide to go to Iceland! They’re able pay for their last-minute flights ($1619 apiece from NYC at Expedia) because Trevor’s been saving quarters for years.

Then things get stupid.

Once in Iceland, they meet up with Hannah, the daughter of a scientist who helped Max find the center of the Earth or something. A random lightning strike traps the trio in an old Icelandic mine, which just happens to have a conveniently-placed rollercoaster; pretty soon they’re staring glurgy-eyed at Blue Velvet-style bluebirds, flying kites, hitting piranahs with baseball bats, dodging attacks from Nessie and running from dinosaurs. Turns out the Professor Lidenbrock of Verne’s novel was a real person (though apparently Axel, the narrator of the novel, was not) and he really went to — yes, yes, yes, the center of the Earth. Trevor and Sean get to process their grief over Max’s death in a sensitive-manly geek sort of way, and we get to see lots of things coming toward us fast enough that I think we’re supposed to jump.

Which brings me to one of the many reasons this movie may have sucked so bad; it was made in 3D, but I saw it in thrilling 2D, which I didn’t think would be a big deal… but it was. The colors of the film looked amazingly washed out and kind of embarrassingly grey. Many times a shot would be onscreen, and it was clear from narrative tension it was expected to elicit oohs and aahs from me, but the shot was just kind of empty and weak and shallow looking. My own damn fault for seeing a 3D feature in 2D? Yeah, well, they still charged me $10.25 for it. See it in 3D if you’re going to see it — but no brilliant 3D effects could have saved the dumb script.

Still, unlike so many bad contemporary movies, this one didn’t piss me off. I actually enoyed its dorky goofiness, and despite the washed-out look, some of the thrills and special effects were vaguely fun. Unfortunately, they were interrupted periodically by horrible dialogue. If you love Verne’s novel, as I do, and if you hate yourself and want to feel pain, as I do, it’s worth seeing Journey. It’s one-third inexpert homage, two-thirds popcorn, and a whole lotta train wreck.

The Naples Garbage Mafia




Naples Bay, from Wikipedia

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

There is an interesting article in the San Francisco Chronicle about the disaster that is the Naples garbage crisis of 2008:

‘NAPLES, ITALY — This may be the only city on Earth where the nation’s prime minister was forced to send a well-armed military regiment to guard the garbage dump. The soldiers are dug in, ready to fight.’

‘At this moment, it’s not clear whether they are preparing to take on residents, who riot and rampage every time the city tries to open a new dump, injuring police and firefighters - or the Mafia that controls the region’s refuse business and has been known to decapitate enemies with a circular saw.’

‘No matter. That’s what it has come to here, lending proof to the popular aphorism making the rounds in Brussels: Naples is the worst-managed city in the worst-managed country in Europe.’

‘No doubt you’ve heard of the Naples garbage crisis. By one count, probably incomplete, it has spawned more than 3,000 English-language news stories over the past year, most of them short and formulaic: No one collects the city’s garbage because there’s no longer any place to put it. The landfills are full. So the trash piles up, sometimes to second-story windows, and as the weeks pass, it gives off an ever-more-putrid stench. Occasionally the army arrives with bulldozers to plow paths through the garbage so the kids can get to school.’

Image by 1chik1 from Wikipedia.

Mystery Reptile Dines on Golf Balls




Mystery Reptile Dines on Golf Balls

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Alligator sighting in the San Francisco Bay Area!! Or caiman or something — mystery reptile. Or not, maybe, who cares?

Srsly, this is the cryptozoological moment of my pathetic East Bay life: Someone diving for golf balls (they, like, sell ‘em, see?) at the municipal golf course in Fremont, California (like 30 minutes Southeast of me) saw some sort of mystery reptile in the water — "eye to eye and snout to snout," we’re told. Did the news get there in time to capture the beast on video? No, so they mocked up this plastic one so we would have a vague idea of what an alligator in water looks like. Very helpful of them.

There is craptastically dull video here from KGO Channel 7 news. The brilliant closing quote, the result of some poor mother raising a child who went to Journalism school? ‘If you’re out here on the green and you hear a golfer yell ‘fore!’ he might be referring to the number of fingers he has left on his hand.’ No really, this is my local news, people. It is kind of like seeing your Dad do the robot in public. Seriously, every time someone says to me how great it must be to live in the SF Bay Area, I am going to show them this video.

Oh, and the shark spotted at Martha’s Vineyard (where they filmed Jaws) was a hoax. maybe. Like god damned Bigfoot isn’t wandering the woods of North Georgia with the servals, getting shot at by off duty cops with thirty-ought-sixes? Srsly, KGO’s gotta make this shit up? Oh, and donate to the crypto museum, kthxbye.

Cry of the Banshee

Tonight’s oh-so-classy viewing attempts to add a bit of high culture to my ouvre — they’ve got accents! It’s almost Shakespearean! 1970’s Cry of the Banshee was directed by Gordon Hessler, who also directed Scream and Scream Again and The Oblong Box. Vincent Price stars, chewing the English countryside to tiny bits as it is his magnificent gift to do.

In this little Technicolor tempest, Vincent Price plays Lord Edward Whitman, a magistrate in Renaissance England who is on a crusade to rid his region of witches. He has no end of troubles, considering that Oona, the priestess of the local witch coven, can summon the devil to rip flesh from bone and slaughter people all bloody-like with poppets (”voodoo dolls” to the casual ’70s viewer). Of course, Whitty himself ain’t exactly a peach; he loves him some torture, and buries knives in bellies with minimal provocation; when it comes to witch-hunting, he’s of the “burn her alive now, ask questions… well, don’t really bother asking questions, it’s just so damn fun to burn people, let’s do it some more!” school.

On the other hand, when it comes to skewering the elusive Oona, Eddie boy takes the witch burning all serious; as he puts it at one point when addressing his villagers, “To find her, I’ll kill as many of you as it takes!” And oh, he does, cheerfully, even gleefully, as only Vincent Price can do.

Meanwhile, though, everybody’s taking their tops off and jiggling Renaissance knockers all the fudge over the place in a frenzied explosion of brandin’, torturin’, rape, semi-rape, cheerful fornication, stolid fornication, inexplicable nudity — and those are just the Christians. Trot out the Pagazoids for a little counterattack and next thing u know everybody’s sitting crosslegged in their Grecian underwear yowling lengthy syllables and performing the shimmy-shake of Satan. But let me back up here — it’s not so much the devil these coed covens are into; it’s described several times as the “old religion,” and is described as such in the original ultra-weird movie poster. (What does any of it have to do with Edgar Allan Poe? Not the faintest fucking idea, friends). I actually found that aspect of the flick kinda interesting — it’s a conflict of cultures, and not so much good vs. evil but evil vs. evil, and lustful-rapacious-violent vs. violent-rapacious-lustful. Let’s not read too much into it, though… Panic in Year Zero! this ain’t, after all. Ha ha ha ha, that’s a little Skid Roche brand joke.

It should come as no surprise that Cry of the Banshee showed at the first Quentin Tarantino Film Festival. This is one frisky Elizabethan freakfest, and for all its prurient randomness is actually a succulent morsel of divine trash if gory B-movie sleaze is your rotgut.

Today’s Consolidated Berkeley Trip

As I have previously reported, I am not a fan of Berkeley; it is my Texas, except that Texas is my Texas, but whatever. Tonight after work I braved the long haul down College and after a trip to the Claremont library, Tart and I ate at Gordo’s and then waited in a long line for Ici.

Let me rephrase that: the line was incredibly short for Ici, which is on a nightly basis mobbed by people slavering for their brand of high-end gourmet ice cream. This time the line was about 15 minutes, more or less the limit of my patience, but is (basically) worth it.

Started by former Chez Panisse dessert chef Mary Canales, Ici (the name is, reportedly, pronounced “Eee See,” it’s like, French or something) makes small-batch ice cream with a menu that changes daily. It’s ultra-yuppie and super-fabulous. I have been there a half a dozen times and been impressed each time by the freshness and richness of the ice cream.

The flavors are artsy fartsy to the extreme, though they do always have a few standards like vanilla & chocolate. Tonight I got coffee and cinnamon-chicory, a winning combination. The coffee ice cream is one of the best I’ve tasted, though Tart’s homemade is better. The cinnamon-chicory was amazing — like the gutsy-nasty part of the best New Orleans coffee that’s so amazingly hard to duplicate, a dream of brutal sin and sublime spirituality in a god damned cup of Joe, brother, here rendered lovingly in ice cream. About the best thing ever.

Tarty opted for the strange combination of chocolate — unbelievable, milky-smooth and as good, if lighter, than Strauss’s Dutch Chocolate — and cardamon-rose, which I kinda tried to warn her off of by saying that I loved it.

Let me back up: Tarty had never previously had rose ice cream; “Rose ice cream is weird,” I told her, having enjoyed such a thing at Bombay on Valencia street. “I like it. But I am given to understand that some people find it challenging or unusual.” I added weakly, if diplomatically.

As if out of spite, she got the cardamon-rose and hated it. I ate about half of it and am now rather sick.

Despite my affection for rose ice cream, my verdict on the Ici version is a big Oh No She Di-int. The rose part of the ice cream is extra awesome, fresh and fragrant and full of spirit and better than Bombay’s pretty-good version by a longshot. But the cardamon is just… extraneous. Why add cardamon to this concoction? For fuck’s sake, people, I’m already eating rose flavored ice cream, how much fruitier do I need it to be?

Nonetheless, Ici as an institution gets a big PTL. Wait through the line if you can bear it; Ici’s worth it.

The Sinking of the Rainbow Warrior


Just before midnight on July 10, 1985, French foreign intelligence agents detonated two limpet mines attached to the flagship of the Greenpeace fleet, the Rainbow Warrior, moored in the port of Auckland, New Zealand. The ship sank in four minutes. Though the mines had been placed with the intention of sinking the ship but not killing anybody, photographer Fernando Pereira drowned in the sinking ship.

Codenamed “Operation Satanic,” this operation was undertaken to prevent Greenpeace from interfering with a nuclear test in French Polynesia. Most of the French agents escaped the country before they could be charged with murder, but two, posing as a married couple, were caught, pled guilty to manslaughter, and were sentenced to ten years.

After the bombing, “a flotilla of private yachts sailed to Muroroa to protest against the French test.” The test was cancelled, and there would be no more French tests in the Pacific for ten years.

The incident inspired two French light comedies about the events: Operation Corned-Beef and Vanille Fraise, and the somewhat heavier Rainbow Warrior with Sam Neill and Jon Voight. It’s also alluded to in Grosse Point Blank. The case became important in international law. This was due to the fact that no state of war existed between France and New Zealand, so the captured agents could not be treated as prisoners of war, but they had clearly violated New Zealand law and been convicted and sentenced for doing such — while acting under the authority of the French government. It’s not like anybody wanted a war between France and New Zealand over this, but it sure as heck wasn’t your typical brand of diplomacy. Eventually, the agents were repatriated to France under the condition that they would serve out the remainder of their sentences.

See Greenpeace’s page of specs for the ship, and also their 20th Anniversary video on the incident, with music by Michael Franti and Spearhead.

Information and photo from Wikipedia.

Panic in Year Zero!


Panic in Year Zero

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Tonight’s viewing: 1962’s Panic in Year Zero, directed by and starring Ray Milland. It was based on two stories by Ward Moore, who was never credited in the film or in the later paperback novelization.

The flick concerns the adventures of Harry Baldwin (Milland), his wife, his daughter and son who happen to be driving up North with their trailer when Los Angeles and many other cities are destroyed in a nuclear war.

It is a strange, savage and straightforward movie made all the stranger by the fact that it came out shortly before the Cuban Missile Crisis. What’s more, Milland as Baldwin mixes equal parts rigid ’50s moralism, flaky ’60s idealism and ’70s opportunistic vigilante psychopathy. When he needs to buy supplies for his family, he’s found that the storeowners have jacked up the prices; gas is going for — GASP! — three bucks a gallon. He responds by offering what money he has and promising to pay the rest after the crisis; when proprietors sneer at him he pulls a gun and takes what he wants, issuing verbal IOUs alongside right hooks and hot lead. His wife freaks out at Harry’s transformation from Ward Cleaver to Mike Hammer (or, perhaps more accurately, from Hugh Beaumont back into Ray Milland). But their son Rick, played by Frankie Avalon, likes shooting people a little too much, and Baldwin lectures him — shoot people, he tells Rick, but hate doing it. And after all this, Baldwin has the huevos to insist that he and Rick must maintain their way of life — by shaving every day.

This is one fucked-up moral compas for 1962; Milland places Baldwin in the position of enforcing society’s rules — fair prices for goods, shaving good — by transgressing against them — eat my fist, war profiteer, and here’s some bitch-slap for your gas station attendant friend.

Things get even more interesting after an attempted rape of Baldwin’s daughter by a few neighborhood toughs turned postapocalyptic Max Max’ers — Baldwin’s trigger finger gets more than just itchy and the lead starts flying in earnest, making the whole thing a weird comment on either survivalism or antihooliganism, maybe both. When the Army shows up to restore order, the Baldwins are just “four of the good ones” — those who fought to survive, and Providence smiled down and allowed them to do so.

Is it a good movie? For Milland as director and from a story and structure perspective, it is brave and audacious and weird, a disturbing glimpse of idealistic 1950s optimism as corrupted by the growing seed of ultraconservative self-righteousness that in subsequent years would crack open the Cold War’s sternum like an alien baby yowlling for fresh meat. True to its conceit as a glimpse into the human soul when societal structures are strained past the breaking point, Panic reflects just how unprepared the righteous American psyches of the 1940s and ’50s were for the nightmare threat of global holocaust and everything else on the ’60s and ’70s menu — war, famine, liberation, and the assassination-meritocricide that surely on some level resulted from exactly the kind of lecture-me-while-you-kill-me attitude Milland’s Harry Baldwin displays here.

On an aesthetic and narrative level, Panic in Year Zero! displays some of the evocative brilliance from other great ’60s thrillers like Seconds, Seven Days in May, Fail Safe and even (maybe) Dr. Strangelove. Less self-aware and more self-consciously conservative than any of those films, it still stands as a weird and twisted look into a time that freaks me out more the harder I think about it.

It would freak me out less if, with its $3 gas and its jacked-up food prices, its breakdown of municipal services and its desperate proclamations of safety “in the hills,” Panic in Year Zero! didn’t feel more like a paranoiac’s 2009 than like 1962.

And just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. Google the fucker and you get hits on white supremacist websites and counterculture science fiction writer Mick Farren’s somewhat more imaginative article about the freakout sure to ensue as we approach the end of the Mayan calendar in 2012. As Farren puts it: “I love a good irrational panic.”

But viewed this year, July 2008 with California on fire and Iran rattling the saber, even Panic’s closing aphorism: “There must be no end… only a new beginning” bears the rank smell of a New World Order. In ‘62 Panic was just a movie, but the reactionary terror in Milland’s film reflects fear of more than just apocalypse — it reflects fear of human misbehavior when the rules are swept away, fear of a social explosion when we kick out the jams. For all the seeming imminence of real nuclear war, the bona fide nukes were alreaday falling on the culture. Panic’s kind of paranoid rigidity, a terror of change, is what drives some people over the edge. Not so much when the levees broke in New Orleans or along the Mississippi in the Midwest — but when King marched in Selma or Dr. David Gunn went to work one morning in Pensacola. Sometimes it seems like it really is year zero.

Gorbachov The Music Video


Gorbachov: The Music Video

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Remember my post about Russian philologist Marina Orlova and the AK-47? Do you recall the implication that I have a very mushy nature when it comes to Russia and working-class-heroism? You know how despite all my Orwellian bird-flipping I’m actually a big socialist fruit with dreams of a worker’s utopia? Some other weirdo shares my vision, and his has even more hot blondes than mine did.

This fantastically goofy horrorcore-deathpolka video from a Russian metal band called ANJ just about brought me to tears — despite, or perhaps because of, the industrial-strength cleavage of the female worker-heros and, perhaps more importantly, the small army of zombie Stalins being hacked to pieces and/or disintegrated into spouts of effervescent green goo by an axe-wielding barbarian’s laser-bolt eyesight.

See it here or visit the band at their myspace.com/anjkill. You’ll love it if you drink your vodka neat.

Welcome to Pamplona, Now Start Running




Welcome to Pamplona, Now Start Running

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Great footage on YouTube — this is just one example — of the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, which happened today. There’s less exciting footage, from which this screencap is taken, at CNN’s iReport.

This event happens yearly as a run-up to the corrida, or bullfight, a sport that shares a name with a lesser-known Roger Zelazny short story. Ernest Hemingway was greatly affected by the running of the bulls in Pamplona; it figures prominently in his first published novel, The Sun Also Rises, also my favorite Hemingway novel — which isn’t actually saying all that much, but I do like it quite a bit. As I interpreted it when I was 13, Hemingway was attracted to the perceived self-reliance of the bullfighter as an antidote to the kinda meaningless relationships in the main character, Jake’s life. That, or he just thought bullfighting was butch.

Butch indeed; Wikipedia tells me that since 1910 15 people have been killed in the running of the bulls in Pamplona; the most recent was an American tourist in 1995. Nobody seems to have bought the farm this year, so mazel tov.

Once when I was visiting Vallarta, Mexico, I elected to see a bullfight. It goes without saying that it was kinda freaky for me. When it comes to the customs of other nations, I strive to be neither prescriptive nor proscriptive, only descriptive. But my description, by its nature, ain’t pretty. I eat meat, so I point no fingers. The life of a bull killed in a bullfight strikes me as more appropriate and less unnatural than the life of a factory-farmed beast. But it was not one of the high points of my life watching a huge animal enraged, stabbed repeatedly, gradually exhausted until it was hepless, and then, when it could run no further, killed.

Science fiction writer Zelazny, so influenced by Hemingway, once had a character observe that in a famous painting of a fox hunt, "some days my sympathies are with the fox," but that usually he’s all hound. I’m generally both and neither, because fox, hound, hunter, bull, and bullfighter all end up in the same place, rotting… and hastening to its place, Papa, it rises there again.

Happy Birthday, Richard Roundtree




Richard Roundtree, from Wikipedia

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Happy 66th birthday to Richard Roundtree. You might know him from his roles in “Roots,” Seven, “Earthquake, as the Police Commissioner in Maniac Cop, as the sleazy private eye on “Desperate Housewives” or as Ben Burns from the execrable Speed Racer, but he’ll always be John Shaft to me. The character of Shaft was the creation of Ernest Tidyman in a series of novels, making Tidyman, according to IMDB, one of the only white people ever to win a NAACP Image Award. Nonetheless, the pulpy character will forever be Richard Roundtree, and even in the 2000 remake Samuel Jackson needed RR to show up as Uncle John Shaft to pass the torch.

For years, Roundtree tried to distance himself from his image as a black action star, but eventually became proud of it, saying: “Number one, it put me on the map. To this day that film still works. I was blessed.”

Did you know Richard Roundtree survived breast cancer, and now speaks to men’s groups about early detection? Happy 66th, Roundtree, and many happy returns.

Image from Wikipedia

The Last Words of Soapy Smith

110 Years ago, on July 8, 1898, con man and onetime Denver crime boss Jefferson Randall “Soapy” Smith was killed by vigilantes (sort of) in Skagway, Alaska.

Jefferson Smith, who shares a name with Jimmy Stewart’s character in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, is one of the most famous con men of the old west. He started his career in organized crime in Ft. Worth, Texas and spent more than 20 years as the leader of a group of swindlers, the “Soap Gang,” which included several other famous con men of the time. He really gained prominence in Denver with his ingenious soap scam — as related by Wikipedia:

“Smith would open his “tripe and keister” (display case on a tripod) on a busy street corner. Piling ordinary soap cakes onto the keister top, he began expounding on their wonders. As he spoke to the growing crowd of curious onlookers, he would pull out his wallet and begin wrapping paper money ranging from one dollar up to one hundred dollars, around a select few of the bars. He then finished each bar by wrapping plain paper around it to hide the money. He mixed the money-wrapped packages in with wrapped bars containing no money. He then sold the soap to the crowd for one dollar a cake. A shill planted in the crowd would buy a bar, tear it open, and loudly proclaim that he had won some money, waving it around for all to see. This performance had the desired effect of enticing the sale of the packages. More often than not, victims bought several bars before the sale was completed. Midway through the sale, Smith would announce that the hundred-dollar bill yet remained in the pile, unpurchased. He then would auction off the remaining soap bars to the highest bidders.”

He became the de facto crime boss of Denver from 1886-1895: “Newspapers in Denver reported that he was in complete control of the city’s crime and gambling underworld and accused corrupt politicians and the police chief of being on his payroll,” says the Wik. Smith later built crime organizations in Creede, Colorado and in Skagway. It was in that latter town that Smith ran afoul of a meeting of vigilantes gearing up to confront him; trying to enter the meeting with a Winchester rifle, Soapy got himself shot in the scuffle. The Skagway News reported that his last words were “My God, don’t shoot!” which, you know, seems pretty sensible even if it ain’t exactly poetry.

Every year, wakes are held throughout the U.S. in Smith’s honor. One legend states that the motto “caveat emptor” — “let the buyer beware” — was over the door of Smith’s Tivoly Club in Denver.

Information & image from Wikipedia.

The Age on Gomorrah Author Roberto Saviano

The Age weighs in on author Roberto Saviano’s on-the-run status after the publication of Gomorrah, his book on the Naples mafia (known as the Camorra — get it?). The 29-year-old Savino is described as living Salman Rushdie style; I previously linked to a National Post story about him here.

The age quotes Saviano about the hatred directed at him in Naples for breaking the “code of silence” around talking about the Camorra:

“In Naples, the hatred directed against me is without limits. Twice, our car has been spat on. I have to go around in an armoured car. I cannot find a house to live in … just now, I have been chased out of the house where I was and am living in a hotel,” he says.

“Do you know what they did … the other tenants banded together to pay the proprietor the equivalent of a month’s rent. Here, I am seen as dirty because I spoke and I wrote of ‘that thing’. I never expected such hostility. It is total. Absolute.” Saviano’s book is a mix of investigative journalism drawn from interviews and court reports entwined with harrowing first-hand tales and observations. It is imbued with fury — at the senseless violence and the exploitation of innocent people, compatriots whose stories have been ignored by the Italian press for years because they came from marginalised southern towns that meant nothing.

“You ask why this story was not told sooner? So did I. But it is not omerta (the Mafia code of silence). It is because these were stories about people regarded as nobodies, as merda (shit), as people out there, not in the big cities and towns,” he says.

…Saviano’s father was the local doctor who once suffered a ferocious beating for breaking a Camorra rule and helping a shooting victim….The Camorra “sistema” described by Saviano is gut wrenchingly violent, parochial and yet terrifyingly entrepreunerial — the clan has embraced and exploited a globalised world, identifying economic opportunities early in new markets, from China to Russia, throughout Europe and even to Australia.

Vast, sinister and enormously powerful, its 30 billion-euro-a-year network of businesses spans construction, development and transport to illicit waste disposal, arms trafficking and drug importation and distribution.

Read more here.

Image by Piero Tasso, via Wikipedia.

Chicago Tribune on the ‘Ndrangheta




Byzantine Church in Stilo, Calabria

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Christine Spolar writes for the Chicago Tribune about the rise of the Calabrian ‘Ndrangheta, an organized crime group that grew explosively in the 1990s with the fall of the Sicilian Mafia (which she calls Cosa Nostra — not actually accurate… see below) after the Sicilians started blowing up judges and killing politicians. The ‘Ndrangheta now has a tight relationship with the Colombian drug cartels and makes just over 60% of its revenues from drug trafficking. I understand they’re pretty cozy with the Neapolitan Camorra, too.

Oh, and if you care, “La Cosa Nostra,” “this thing of ours,” is an Italian/Sicilian-language term of purportedly American origin, whereas the term “Mafia” is of largely unexplained origin (there are many theories). My understanding has always been that the Sicilians called themselves the “Honored Society” if they called themselves anything, and the Sicilian-Americans started using “our thing” as a euphemism, its Italian/Sicilian translation becoming “LCN” in law enforcment abbreviation — hence the “LCN Task Force” of some law enforcement agencies.

Image from Wikipedia.

Organized Crime in Turkey




Sultan Ahmed Mosque, Istanbul

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

A very strange article in Istanbul’s Today’s Zaman about the atempted establishment of a national Turkish mafia with roots in the Turkish government. The article claims: “The Ergenekon gang, a terrorist organization that is currently the subject of an extensive investigation that saw a number of high-profile arrests last week, had drawn up plans to establish a national mafia that would be directly subordinate to the Turkish General Staff.” The report referenced refers to the proposed mafia organization as “Octobus (Cosa Nostra),” interesting because “Octopus” is an occasionally used law enforcement metaphor for the Sicilian mafia (not actually known as Cosa Nostra, but whatever).

While we’re talking about Turkey, that country’s daily newspaper Sabah claims a former national transportation minister asked a Turkish mafia lord to write off a $200,000 gambling debt. Oh, and The Falcon and the Moon has a lengthy post about the connections between the Turkish mafia, Turkey’s government, and U.S. government neocon forces.

Image from Wikipedia.

Ruslana Kornushova, Rosario Gangemi, the Tamil Tigers


Basic Carry
Originally uploaded by 762×51
David J. Krajicek’s “The Justice Story” has a great article on the 1987 Dixie Mafia murders in the New York Daily News. Biloxi, Mississippi is a gambling mecca, and as such, a magnet for organized crime and political corruption.

The Asian Tribune weighs in on French Author Jerome Pierrat’s recent book on French criminal gangs, Mafias Gangs et Cartels: La criminalite internationale en France. It claims, says the Trib, that Tamil-French organized crime elements work closely with the Sri Lankan Tamil Tigers revolutionary group to extort money from Tamil immigrants to France and otherwise obtain funds. The article’s subheaded “A threat to French society,” as is a similar post from the Sri Lankan Ministry of Defence, which understandably has a little baggage with the Tigers.

Last week, Pakistan Defence reported rather jingoistically on the arrest of 26 crime bosses whom “no one could touch during the rule of the previous government.” Kind of a scary website, really.

Places speculating about the Russian Mafia’s involvement in the death of Ruslana Korshunova, the Kazakh model who committed suicide (maybe) in New York recently: the LA Times, ABC News, Marie Claire UK, and more.

While we’re at it, here’s some coverage of the funeral of Rosario “Ross” Gangemi, Calabrian-Australian ‘Ndrangheta boss in the state of Victoria: Brisbane Times, Melbourne Herald-Sun, The Age, WA (presumably West Australia) Today, and Melbourne Crime.

I’m pretty sure this is not the Rosario Gangemi I found on Facebook.

Image by 762×51 on Flickr

The Day After Roswell

On July 7, 1947, the Air Force reported that it had recovered the debris of some sort of aircraft crash near Roswell, New Mexico. A day later, the Roswell Daily Record and the Sacramento Bee both reported that what had been recovered was debris from a flying disc or flying saucer — that is to say, an alien spacecraft. Pretty soon, the Army’s all like “weather balloon this” and “Project Mogul” that, and the rest is conspiracy-theory history.

Among the assertions about what happened at Roswell are some pretty vivid accounts, including those of Jesse Marcel, a Colonel who believed the military had engaged in a cover-up of a flying saucer crash, and of Walter Haut, who claimed to have seen alien bodies recovered from the Roswell crash. In addition to spawning a library of books on the incident and about a zillion cheesy movies, this best-known of all (possible) alien encounters also inspired the annual Roswell UFO Festival that went down this past weekend.

No matter what awesome footage ends up on YouTube, Roswell remains the Tanelorn of UFO nuts — proof, in our hands, stolen away but there to be found some day given enough brains, balls and earnestness.

Ramey and Dubose with Balloon
Gen. Roger Ramey and Col. Thomas Dubose posing with a weather baloon, claimed to be the debris recovered near Roswell in July 1947.

Image above from Wikipedia.

The 39th International UFO Conference




The 39th International UFO Conference

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Hot on the heels of the Roswell UFO Festival, the 39th International UFO Conference is coming to San Jose. Just head north on 285, hang a left where you see La Llorona, bear right past the howling Chupacabras, then a hard right at the Vaudeville Express Melodrama Musical Theatre in Bakersfield, then come in for a smooth landing near the Winchester Mystery House.

But seriously, folks, much of the programming looks fascinating. Check out workshops like “Radiation Site Surveying,” “Physical Evidence Collection and Scientific Data,” “Dealing With the Media,” “Historic and Current UFO Cases in Turkey,” “Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon [sic] and Aviation Safety,” and more. Best of all, attend the Field Investigator Trainings given by Budd Hopkins, head of the Intruders Foundation and probably the most prominent researcher into abduction phenomena.

MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network, was founded in 1969 as the Midwest UFO Network, partially in response to the US Air Force closing its UFO research endeavor, Project Blue Book. It started its annual symposia in 1970.

Image from MUFON.

Happy Plague Day




Death’s Head

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Rotten.com informs me that 660 years ago today, your friend and mine, The Black Death made its first appearance in England. BritainExpress.com seems to agree, sort of vaguely, putting the fateful arrival some time from June to August 4.

Yersinia Pestis apparently arrived in Britain on a Genoese ship. It causes three main forms of disease: Bubonic (swelling nodules in the crotch, armpits and elsehwere), Pneumonic (in the lungs), and Septicemic (in the bloodstream), none of which sounds like a hoedown.

There has been some speculation that the Black Death might have been caused by another infectious agent like Ebola or Anthrax; theories at the time included the vengeance of God for sinfulness and/or Jewish witchcraft. I’m voting for Y. Pestis.

So happy Plague day!

Devo Suing McDonald’s




Devo Suing McDonald’s

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Destiny tips me off that Devo is suing McDonald’s, as reported by Stuff.co.nz. McDonald’s has imitated Devo’s trademark hat on a toy it released in conjunction with ‘American Idol’ not realizing said hat design is actually, yes, trademarked. The toy is part of a Happy Meal toy series that includes Disco Dave, Country Clay, Rockin’ Riley and Soulful Selma. This one’s called New Wave Nigel.

‘We don’t like McDonald’s, and we don’t like American Idol’ said bass player Gerald Casale in the Stuff.co.nz article. Furthermore: ‘The band also allege that the toy plays a ‘Devo-esque song.”

Update: On Flickr, this post received a comment by a guy named Wayne Weedon, who seems to only post Devo related material to his Flickr stream. Sez Wayne: “Just Spin ;) It worked though! The claim has now been officially denied.” Sez me: “Huh?”

Image: Mark Mothersbaugh, by Corentin LAMY, from Wikipedia.

IBM Heir’s Adoption Annulled




Thomas J. Watson, 1917

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Interesting article at CNN about IBM heir Olive Watson’s adoption of her female lover Patricia Spado in the state of Maine, where the pair shared a vacation home.

The adoption means that Spado’s claim to the fortune of Olive Watson’s father, Thomas Watson Jr., who died in 1993, and her grandfather, Thomas J. Watson, Sr. (pictured), IBM’s first president, who developed the company into a punch-card giant before his death in 1956.

Spado and Watson’s relationship ended after 14 years, a year after the adoption. After Thomas Watson Jr’s wife, also named Olive, died, Spado claimed she was a beneficiary to the fortune. The adoption was annulled by a Maine probate judge on a residency issue, since Watson and Spado weren’t actually Maine residents when the adoption took place; they lived in New York, a state whose law specifically forbids the adoption of a homosexual partner.

The case now goes to the Maine Supreme Court. Says CNN: “Gay rights activists say the case shows the lengths to which same-sex couples would go to ensure a partner’s financial security in the days before they were allowed to form civil unions or to marry.”

Image: Wikipedia.

RIP: Thomas M. Disch


Thomas M. Disch 2008-06-03

Originally uploaded by Houari B.

I am stunned by the news that legendary science fiction writer Thomas M. Disch committed suicide a few days ago on July 4.

Apparently I’m one of the few people to be stunned, but I’m guilty of losing track of all the science fiction writers who influenced me in years past. According to his obit at Locus, Ellen Datlow reported in her LiveJournal that Disch had been depressed for several years, especially following the death of his partner of three decades, Charles Naylor, and the fear that he would be evicted from his NYC apartment.

Disch was known as a science fiction and horror writer, a critic, a poet and an irascible “curmudgeon,” as Datlow put it. Two books of his affected me in very different ways: First was Camp Concentration, his novel about a strain of syphilis being used to create geniuses who then die within a few months. It is an evocative New Wave novel that Wikipedia informs me was influenced by the thinking of Arthur Koestler, and now that I think about it, the tone of Camp reminds me just a little bit of Koestler’s Darkness at Noon.

Second was Disch’s children’s book The Brave Little Toaster, which amused me greatly. I have not yet read The Dreams Our Stuff is Made Of, a “sardonic” look at science fiction, in which Disch’s standpoint as a skeptic is said to be quite evident with his attacks on L. Ron Hubbard and Erich Von Daniken. In it Disch also takes on science fiction’s sacred cows Ursula K. LeGuin and Robert Heinlein for bringing overt political ideology to their work.

Locus quotes the 1993 Encyclopedia of Science Fiction “Because of his intellectual audacity, the chillingly distanced mannerism of his narrative art, the austerity of the pleasures he affords, and the fine cruelty of his wit, [Disch] has been perhaps the most respected, least trusted, most envied and least read of all modern first-rank sf writers.”

Image by Houari B.

HotForWords on the AK-47

In responding to a comment on an earlier post from a troll who almost tempted me into my first flame war in 20 years, I was tempted instead back to YouTube by the siren-song of Marina Orlova, sexy geek philologist of my dreams. Her fantastically popular YouTube channel is as lively and, I submit, as prurient as ever, and watching the Russian knockout discuss the AK-47 is an experience from which, quite frankly, I may never recover. The fact that I can also watch it in Russian only enhances the experience.

Is her discussion of this classic firearm complex or illuminating from a historical perspective? That’s not what it’s about, kids, but you’d be ill-advised to think it’s just about a sexy chick handling an assault rifle. What I love about this video is not, or not just, that those eyes of Orlova’s are limpid pools into which I could dive with a Kalashnikov strapped to my back, and when I crawled out gasping and struggling six hours later, the mutha would still fire. No, what I find so charming here is the Russian pride Marina displays, which glows from her the way it does whenever Marina’s countrypeople discuss the AK.

The reason is that the AK-47 is more than just a rifle. It was a weapon invented for patriotic reasons in a time when Mother Russia was facing a very real threat. Its practicality, ruggedness and reliability made it a symbol to Russians struggling in the early years of the Cold War, and its success is a testament to its design. The Soviet Union licensed the weapon to many manufacturers in other countries, utilizing it as the standard small arm for revolutionists worldwide receiving aid from the Eastern Bloc. The result is that there are reportedly over 100 million AK-47s worldwide, making it standard issue for governments and outlaws alike just throughout the third world and elsewhere. Subsequent weapons were based on the same design including the AK-74 and the AK-101. It’s probably the most successful military rifle design of all time.

For 45 years, the US and the Soviet Union used the third world as their battleground, with the AK-47 one of the principal instruments of death. General Kalashnikov, to his credit, later said, as Orlova points out in her video: “I’m proud of my invention, but I’m sad that it is used by terrorists… I would prefer to have invented a machine that people could use and that would help farmers with their work - for example a lawnmower.” An interesting article in Philosophy Now asserts that scientists like Kalashnikov should refuse to do weapons research in peacetime — but 1946, from a Soviet perspective, was far from peacetime. If you’re an American, like me, I expect you might argue it was Russian ambition in Europe, the Third World and the Far East that presaged the Cold War, but the Soviets made the same argument about the Allies.

Kalashnikov, incidentally, is still very much alive, receives a state pension and licenses his name for an umbrella and knife manufacturer in Germany and for a vodka manufacturer, of which he is the chairman. He recieves no royalties on the AK-47 or subsequent weapons on that design.

What does all this have to do with philology? I’m not sure I know. But I’m quite sure I don’t care.

Lost Metropolis Negative Found in Argentina

From TheLocal.de, a English-language German news website:

Lost scenes from German-Austrian director Fritz Lang’s legendary silent film “Metropolis” have been discovered in Argentina, German weekly newspaper Die Zeit reported on Wednesday.

Paula Félix-Didier, head of film museum Museo del Cine in Buenos Aires, discovered an uncut version of the 1927 science fiction film when she looked into reports that a tape in the archive was unusually long. She travelled to Berlin with a copy of the film and met with experts who say they are certain it is the missing original-length version of Lang’s masterpiece that reveals key plot scenes and an expansion of minor roles, Die Zeit said ahead of the publication of its Thursday edition.

“The film’s original rhythm will be re-established,” Martin Koerber, the man responsible for the current restoration of the film, told the paper.

When it premiered in 1927, Metropolis was the most expensive film ever produced in Germany, but was disliked by audiences. For the U.S. release, large amounts of footage was cut, reportedly making the film pretty incomprehensible. If you’ve seen recent DVD re-releases of the film, you may have noticed the proclamation at the outset that the film quality differs on some scenes — because these scenes were re-created from subsequent prints, and as i recall they look like crap. I’m unclear on whether this version will add any new scenes, but it’s a negative of the original 210-minute release.

Metropolis is a strange and challenging film. If you have never seen it, honestly, you’re missing one of the three or four biggest influences, and hey, maybe the biggest single influence, on the visuals of science fiction and futurism through the 1950s and right up to the naughts.

More than that, it’s a bizarre and beautiful insight into history. View it in the context of Weimar Germany, with its mud-wrestling optimism, pessimism and post-Great War malaise. Think of it is an urbane meditation on Socialism next to which the morbid antifuturist sci-fi of The Time Machine looks like prudish country bumpkin naivete. Lang’s great talent was to have a dream and a nightmare at the same time, and in Metropolis, as with the greatest noir gothica, you can drool your outrage and rapturously moan your despair.

There is a great apocryphal story about Lang, how he met with Nazi propaganda minister Josef Goebbels for an amiable chat and thereafter immediately beelined it in the middle of the night. Sadly, the story almost certainly never happened, as Lang left Germany with most of his Deutschmarks intact, and even returned for his belongings. But the story appeals to my American lust for the artist as outlaw, my desire to demonize Nazis and deify the idealistic social transgressor.

But there’s no need to deify, really: Art is what it is, and the artist can never compete with his creation. With its deep psychosexual perversity and its profound influence on the genre of science fiction, Metropolis is a spike into the unconscious. Seeing it is like being introduced to Carl Jung at a fancy dress ball at the border crossing between Heaven and Hell. Watch Metropolis and you’re glimpsing the mind of God.

Image from emory.edu.

Rubber Sex Reviewed Some More


Rubber Sex

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Another review of Rachel Kramer Bussel’s anthology Rubber Sex mentions my story:

“…The opposite end of the caper spectrum is noir. Thomas Roche may have supplied a ’spacey New Age shit,’ soundtrack to his story ‘Butterfly’s Kiss,’ but I heard a lone wailing sax and a voiceover right out of a gumshoe flick…. Roche has the skill to write a story that will leave you gulping for air even while it turns you on. If you can endure being uncomfortable, enjoy the challenge this edgy story provides.”

Hooray! Thanks, Kathleen Bradean. Read more at Erotica Revealed.

Oh… and Kathleen, I agree, the tattoo stuff is totally opaque. I guess it’s meant to be obscure. I am reminded of a Roger Zelazny quote from the introduction to his second short story anthology, where he dicussed his early stories that did not sell and did not work as stories. I paraphrase his comments by saying that it occurred to me that I was explaining more to the reader than I would want explained to me.

I amend Zelazny’s sentiments with my own “So I resolved to be an obscure pain in the ass,” which I’m sure Zelazny never did. I’m pleased to note I’ve been at least partially successful…

Update: I originally credited this review to Steven Hart… sorry about this, Kathleen, and thanks for the review.

Save the International Crypto Museum


Loren Coleman (front)

from www.cryptomundo.com

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

As reported on about ten zillion freaky blogs, BoingBoing and the LA Times (I am just now catching up on my crypto feeds), Cryptozoologist Loren Coleman, proprietor of Cryptomundo and the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine, is in the process of being audited by the IRS, which questions the validity of Cryptozoology as a profession, among other things. The survival of the Museum is in question and, as Coleman observes, ‘No one likes the idea of becoming extinct!’

Coleman is seeking $15,000 in donations to help the Museum continue. You can donate at Cryptomundo.com, where you can also find out more about Coleman’s work and the Museum — or watch the great BoingBoingTV episode on it.

Image from Cryptomundo.

A Century of Science Fiction


A Century of Science Fiction

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

Tonight’s viewing: A Century of Science Fiction, hosted (sort of) by Christopher Lee. Lee introduces each episode with about ten seconds of spooky meta-observation, and then a predictable voiceover artist gives the narration over footage from science fiction films on various themes — the end of the world, monsters, computers, inventions, aliens, that sort of thing.

The footage and the history is interesting; I’ve discovered numerous weird B-movies I’m dying to see. The presentation, however, is crappy and the footage terribly transferred. It is not good.

The first episode I watched was on the end of the world. It is the best of them given that it’s mostly trailers — B-movie trailers are one of my not-so-guilty pleasures. For the rest of the episodes, it’s just footage from B-movies, totally out of context, some great, some kind of dull and weird, with a bland voiceover stitching it together. It therefore does not have the rabid maniacal unpredictable hyperbolic glee of the movie traler, which is usually about ten times better than the movie.

I have no idea how many episodes of this thing there are; I’ve watched five. the Amazon page informs me that this dog is 676 minutes; in fact, I am watching this series on Netflix Instant Viewing, and (thank God!) it’s more like 100. Which leads me to believe the five episodes I’ve watched represent one disk, and there are four more disks, with five episodes each, to go. Whatever.

This series has some fascinating stuff in it and is enjoyable for total B-movie freaks, but the presentation and the low quality makes it hard to follow and sort of exhausting. Good for you, maybe, but not a lot of pleasure to take. It’s like a dose of medicine, and not the kind you swallow.

Louis Eppolito Convicted on Tax Charges


Louis Eppolito

Originally uploaded by Thomas Roche

According to KMPH in San Joaquin County, a US District Court judge in Nevada sentenced former NYPD detective Louis Eppolito to 18 months in prison and ordered him to pay $102,000 on tax charges.

Eppolito was the son of Ralph “Fat the Gangster” Eppolito, a Mafia hit man who died when Louis was young. His uncle and cousin were also made members of the Gambino family, and were killed in gangland violence by the infamous DeMeo crew. Eppolito did not dispute these facts in his book Mafia Cop: The Story of an Honest Cop Whose Family Was the Mob, and in fact as you can see kinda owned up to them in the subtitle.

The book was about Louis’s struggle to establish and preserve his reputation as a NYPD detective, where he was hounded by Internal Affairs and some of his fellow cops who didn’t believe that a Mafia family could produce an honest cop. He was finally hounded off the force over an incident in which he was accused of passing confidential police information to Mob members.

I enjoyed the book immensely; I even found it moving at times. Eppolito’s self-righteousness rang kinda false, but when you read mob biographies you get a lot of self-righteousness, as much of it coming from the cops as from the robbers; Eppolito, the cop son of robbers, had it in spades, but I didn’t begrudge him that.

Louis Eppolito, with fellow NYPD detective Stephen Caracappa, was later convicted of labor racketeering, extortion, obstruction of justice, drug and gambling charges, not to mention eight murders. The charges go back to the 1980s, when Eppolito and Caracappa served as a hit team for the mob. A judge later threw out several of the convictions because the statute of limitations had expired; though there’s no statute of limitations on murder in New York, the killings were in fact prosecuted in federal court. The remaining convictions are currently on appeal.

Incidentally, a guy named Albert DeMeo was the son of Roy DeMeo of the DeMeo crew, the crew that cli